What's wrong with me? I want to have a nervous breakdown in front of Johnny so he gets scared away and breaks up with me. Knowing my luck he'll find me adorable. Help!

I finished packing the bookcases. I need to finish the clothes tonight. And then I can work on the kitchen and the odds and ends tomorrow.

I felt bad, I called my friend Chiemi to help me pack because I was getting desperate and she was kind enough to offer. But that would mean dragging her all the way up here from midtown. I also asked my mom to help me pack so she's coming around 1:30pm on Wednesday. Hopefully I'll be good to go on Thursday.

My friends Naomi and Craig are returning to the UK to have their baby. I am sad to see them go. They were good brunch buddies!

Tea and water at Saigon Grill

Here comes my headache. I skipped coffee this morning and have a caffeine headache.

When I look up who Chace Crawford is dating, it's his co-star Ed Westwick. Poor guy has a reputation for liking boys. Truth or gossip? Who's to tell?

I saw pics of Cristiano Ronaldo with his girlfriend Nereida Gallardo. She isn't that hot except she is very busty. Very. Interesting to see his type.

Especially after he dated Gemma Atkinson. This guy loves the Double DD's.

Eating tomato rice soup. It needs chicken. On a budget since I am moving and spending $300 on movers.

There are two holes in the wall from the Flat Panel mount. I am not sure what to do when I sell this apartment. I have to repair it?

My dad successfully took down my flat panel TV down. I also snuck a copy of his drivers license. All is good!

Deadbeat Darling's next performance is Saturday Jul 19 at 9:15pm. I am stoked! It's a Saturday! I can stay out as late as I need to.

I went to my new apartment today after my last interview and it's not as big as I thought it was. I got to go on the roof deck and it was nice.

I heard this great song by Kasabian Reason is Treason while waiting for my last interview of the day yesterday.

Waiting for brunch at Madison Square Park. It's a beautiful day outside!

Waiting for my bro to come over to take the tv down. Dismantling my life.

I don't know if I can give up my job to become a personal trainer. Especially at the 43rd Street gym. It's one of the smallest gyms I've seen. How can I quit my good-paying job for an uncertain one.

All I do know is that I have to change jobs. I am getting an interview with NBC. Even though it's with the Bravo channel.

I also didn't even get to meet anyone from Tenzan about the bartending job. I will go there again if I have to. I will also start going to different open calls. I have about one month's rent in my bank account and a whole lot of debt. Not the position to quit my job.

It's giving me a headache. I have to see if I can amp the bartending interviewing to the level of the Equinox interviewing. Then I am bound to get a bartending gig.

~may

Sent from my iPhone

Big Love - the HBO series about a polygamist and his three wives

For some reason I thought John's dad passed away a while ago but he just did so recently. Isn't that strange? I may be psychic.

Waiting on line at the post office on 54th and Third Avenue.

I saw John this morning. I can't break up with him. I've tried. It's back on.

I'm reading a good book called Lovehampton. I have to save it for the down times I get at night. It's so hard for me to find good books to read.

Back to my parents. It was faster to come here than my apt since I was near Penn Station.

I have to pack this weekend. I have to get boxes and pack.

Lottery update

I stopped playing. I realized the chances of winning are really low. But I do check it on occasion to see if my numbers ever show up. I will be in one sour mood if they ever do show up since I am not playing. It's too much hard work to get to a store and play the lottery every week, every drawing. It's not such an easy thing to do 2 times a week. That's why I've stopped. Maybe when I move to midtown, I'll have more free time and will choose one shop to go to every week.

All my respect for Cristiano Ronaldo will go out the window if he signs with Real Madrid. I won't go to Spain to visit him.

There are reports in the media that Ronaldo will ask to be sent to Real Madrid. He would lose all my respect if he did! He negotiated a 5 year deal with Manchester United last summer. He should honor at least half of that deal.

Another 3.5 hours to the long weekend! Woohoo! No more office! YAYAY

This week's daily planner

Almost forgot to post this week's planner. Note all four Equinox appointments. Five if you include the failed one.

There is a Yama at 49th Street between 1st and 2nd Avenues. I am psyched. I love that place!

Ted Lilly wins his eighth game and improves to 8-5.

Ted Lilly gave up two home runs and 4 runs overall but the Cubs offense backed up the lefty who threw over 7 innings. Lilly improves to 8-5. Go Ted Lilly!

AIG's stock price is below $30. Time to abort.

I'm going to miss the peaceful views of the Palisades and the Hudson River

The realtor sent someone over to videotape the apartment.

Waiting for the M98. This time on Third Avenue and 33rd Street

The performance reviews will be done on Friday but I am out! YAYAYAYA

Safin crushes Djokovic at Wimbledon in the second round. He is hot. Very hot.

Today didn't go by that slowly. I only have to get through two more hours and then tomorrow to get to Friday and maybe freedom!

One more day closer to Friday. Today is going by slowly. I got into work slightly late. I am going to celebrate my CPA during lunchtime today.

This week is going by painfully slow. There is an hour long staff meeting and then another hour. I am looking forward to a Stretch Session tonight.

Wedding Favors have always alluded me. I was thinking of soaps engraved with our initials and lavender scented candles with our initials.

My wedding cake. My theme is orange and pink.

I can't sleep. I ate some food because I only ate berries and an apricot for dinner but still not sleepy.

What to do?

I got my CPA License!

Finally after 5 years from passing the exam, I am now a certified public accountant!

I don't know what I'm going to treat myself to, but I am having a housewarming party in four weeks that I'll combine it into a celebration of my CPA.

I can now advertise myself as a CPA next year!

Busy

I was busy this morning and afternoon until now, working on a scheduling document. I may be sent overseas because I am not being put on any audits that are in Connecticutt or New Jersey.

That would pose a major dilemma since I want to quit if I get the personal training job.

Salute, a fine dining establishment, just called me. I am going to go on an interview on Friday, right after the TenZan III interview. I hope to get both jobs.

Btw, I got this chili ham soup and it doesn't taste so good.

Moving

If I can get my dad to 'guarantee' the apartment I won't have to put an extra month of security deposit so I can use that money to get packers to pack and move my stuff. I don't want to pack. I don't mind unpacking, but packing is a bitch.

It's so hard to find an affordable dog walker.

I've emailed a dozen and they are all so pricey. Maybe I will forego a dog walker.

~may
Sent from my iPhone

Intermission time during Sleeping Beauty.

At the ballet Sleeping Beauty will start in two minutes.

Ted Lilly gave up 3 runs over 6 2/3 innings but had a no-decision as the Cubs win in late innings 4-3.

A pic of my bedroom. It's raining and I can't sleep. I'm falling for Johnny.

Before I go to bed

I went to visit Danica's blog and sure enough there was an update. It looks like she eats out every night. She must make a pretty penny at the New York Post.

I only eat out at the most three nights a week and I make a decent salary. I should have become a journalist!

Back to Danica, she sure does eat a lot for a former plus size model. My mom said I gained some weight. I still think I lost some and am still losing. Last time I checked I was 115 but still want to be around 105.

~may
Sent from my iPhone

So I ended up not going to Earl's party. Not to miss Tristan although I am happy I don't have to see him.

I'm in bed now at my parents' house in Bayside. Thank God it's the weekend. I survived! I may quit my job next week. I don't know how much longer I can stand it there. I think I will be a much happier person as a personal trainer and bartender. As Adam said, we spend so much time at work. We need to love what we do.

And with that thought, good night.

~may
Sent from my iPhone

Waiting in the dentist waiting room for my routine cleaning.

I bought the Benetton flower dress in a different color. This time it's red.

Just spent $7.25 on a LIRR ticket because I didn't want to deal with the subway. On the way to the dentist for a routine cleaning.

Wait, make that 30 guests!

I got in at 9:05 this morning and am still bored out of my mind.

I have to find a new job. I just applied to about 20 odds and ends jobs. Just in case I do get the personal training job, I need to supplement my income.

Big Brown to appear in Haskell race August 3rd, not in Travers race.

When I am a personal trainer, you're going to miss my updates.

I may be photo mobile blogging. I will still have my iPhone.

Yep, I just have to make sure I do well on the interview and I will have a whole new chapter in my life.

Today's agenda

I got into work today at 9:05am. I have to go to the dentist tonight then I am off to Earl's party.

I am trying to talk myself off the ledge.

My job is not that bad. I should just make the most of it. Do I really want to train people all day long at the gym? What if I hated it there as well?

Maybe I can get a job at NBC.

Waiting for the crosstown M96. Trying not to go out of my mind.

My life is just as interesting as hers.

If Lauren Conrad can have a reality show about her life as a fashion intern, I should be able to have a reality show.

I've never watched the show nor have any desire to. But she reportedly makes 1.5 million a year from that show and its offspring.

That's not bad.

I have a Stretch session. I know, I know, I wasn't supposed to, but I have to meet my personal trainer to get tips for my interview next Monday.

I feel slightly nauseous. It must be from eating a big meal at lunchtime from ISE.

Chace Crawford admits to having a crush on a girl named Lauren Conrad.

I am sorry, my respect for him is nosediving downwards.

Who admits to a crush in the papers? Why don't you try to get in touch with her rather than use a high school way of trying to get someone's attention.

My interest in him is really starting to break, especially after Carrie Underwood. I don't think she is special at all. His taste in women is suspect. He definitely has a type though. They both have the same look.

I wrote a letter of resignation.

I am really hoping the interview tomorrow with TenZan III and the interview with Equinox on Monday go well and I can really do this. It makes the next few days bearable. Knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Yes, the senior manager is out tomorrow! YAYAY!

I am hoping for the best, that I can quit and become a personal trainer and bartender. If it goes well, I will be making more than what I currently make. I would not even give notice. I would resign effective immediately.

TenZan III

Yay, I got a response to one of the bartending positions and it's at 52nd/53rd on 2nd Avenue, that's about 2 blocks from where I will move to!

If I can get a job as a bartender and work as a personal trainer, I would quit my day job.

Exciting times.

Gossip Girl spin-off

Gossip Girl may be having a spin-off featuring Jenny Humphrey. More to come when details are released. The show's producer denies rumours, but who knows.

I ate sushi from Frank's Market and some Cracker Jacks. Yummy.

Danica likes the white boys. Finally something to do with guys on her blog.

~may
Sent from my iPhone

Purl

My therapist recommended sleeping at a later time to combat me waking up so early and going to work. But that would mean finding things to do at night to keep me occupied.

Hence, I am going to start knitting.

I am going to take classes at Purl, 137 Sullivan Street. The three classes are $125 in total. Maybe Caroline, a colleague from work, will take it with me.

Another girl left at 4:40pm! What's this?

Someone left work already and it was only 4:30pm. I should be so brave as to do that!

I discontinued cable, Internet and phone service at my current address. I closed the ConEd and opened the new ConEd account at my new apartment.

Today is the CPA Board Meeting, by the way. I will call on Friday to find out the news. I will forego a $1000 CPA bonus if I leave here.

Lease signing

That took a little longer than expected. I also grabbed a sausage pizza on my way back. Yummy.

I had to sign a few riders and a pet policy page.

I'm excited about moving! I have to start packing.

I hope the work day passes by fast today. I am supposed to show the apartment at 7pm tonight. I hope the woman who sees the apartment likes it. I want to sell it asap.

Fun times!

Today should go by fast. I am signing the lease during lunchtime. Then I'll be back and it'll be less than 4 hours to go before the end of the day. I am showing my apartment tonight to a prospective buyer.

I can't wait to move to the new neighborhood.

I will be able to go to the Barnes and Noble or the gym after work, after walking the dogs. It'll be fun times!

My desk. It's slightly messy.