December Posting

So I am so behind in my blog posting. It's almost the end of this month and end of this year to reflect deeply on the life events of 2014!

I have been happily dating Carl for over a year (since October 15, 2013). We celebrated our one year anniversary on October 15, 2014. We saw Hunger Games. All is good.

Carl gave me a gift bag of 6 items for Christmas - ranging from stockings and sheer pantyhose to bracelets and lip balm. I am a happy camper!

So all is going so well. It's a bf-gf relationship but not too serious-minded so not like we are going to get married and have kids. I love my relationship with Carl as is.

I also will move to Astoria in May of 2015. Wish me luck!

I will post new years resolutions next week.

I have to lose 20 lbs. I have to stop eating!

My November Posting

So it's been almost a month since my last posting.

Carl and I are going stronger than ever! Really happy with him! I will watch Hunger Games with Carl in one week's time from Monday. That's when I fell for Carl!

And last night I had some insomnia. But the two weeks before that I was sleeping a lot and sleeping in, so it's okay I guess.

I am in my office but not doing any work. Just wasting time before my 12:30PM brunch at North Square.

I've decided to go ahead with the postcard design with Lauren D. That will give me another advertising outlet / medium.

Anyways, I am a bit tired so I'll end this posting short.

I am also trying to get back to working out. I ran 3 miles this past Wednesday at the Great Neck Equinox.

One year anniversary with Carl

So it's been almost a month since my last update. I think I must resign myself into doing it every month instead of every day.

So the big news is my one year anniversary with my sweet and caring Carl.

Carl came over on Saturday and Sunday and most recently Thursday at Bayside. And we hung out on Sunday afternoon checking the Whitney Museum's Jeff Koons exhibit. So that's how we spent our anniversary. We celebrated at Cucina Di Pesci with an $80 groupon. We split a grilled calamari. He had a special Belgian ale and I had the Sauvignon Blanc. He chose penne pomodoro while I got the Black Linguini with Shrimp and Asparagus. We then split an apple pie a la mode. We then each got a specially brewed decaf coffee. I think we still had a few dollars left from that groupon.

One of my clients who pays me in restaurant dining cards will give me a new restaurant dining card. So that will be another dinner with Carl.

I'm really happy with Carl and hope that we stay together for many years to come!

I read an article that said that dating of three years is the ideal in order to minimize the rate of divorce. If that's the case with Carl then we would marry when I'm 39. Young enough to have one or two children. So I am not in any rush with Carl.

So tax filing deadline is over. Just have one more tax return to do. I have a few bookkeeping clients that I need to do some work on and catch up.

Today I'm getting eyelash extensions. I am also craving either a massage or a body scrub.

Blog update

So 24 days have passed and I haven't blogged every day. Been ultra busy with work and social events. I don't want to list everything so I'll just highlight the standouts.

I hadn't seen Carl until last Friday for the whole month of September as he almost broke his foot 2.5 weeks ago. I did see him at SB on Friday and he was crutches-free which was the first time he ventured out. He missed a week of work. I felt bad for him. But it was nice seeing him finally. He may come to Bayside this week depending on how his foot fares and work. I'll definitely see him on Thursday my only free afternoon.

Work has been ultra-busy. I logged in 74-75 hrs on a manufacturing client, matching my earlier bar/restaurant as the longest client project. Luckily I wrapped it up and will work an additional hour or two in tying up ends on Monday morning... I then have about 8-10 late filer extensions to work on. Then I hope after October 15 work will die down and I can relax and not go to work every day for the week. November I am due to take 2 classes and one ethics class in October. I want to return to the gym and lose some belly fat. And also maybe knit a scarf or hat. I need to go to YouTube and refresh on the knit and purl. I don't want to take another refresher class and waste money. More of the Carl influence on me.

So that's about it all. I will move in January or February. January if I can find a broker-less apt and Feb if I must pay for a broker.

I may buy some riding boots and Wellington rubber boots. Not entirely sure. Will browse at DSW. Also need to buy a few QB/Quicken programs for my PC for work.

Oooh Another Post

I've calmed down since this past Friday, maybe I had a manic attack?

Waiting for a client to come to discuss the QB file and bank account reconciliation.

Very busy at work. I could only meet up with Carl once this past week. I am so happy he's so understanding about my work schedule.

I hate Patrick Schaal and I hope he doesn't hurt any other girl like he hurt me back in March of 2007

I need to see my therapist pronto. I wonder if I can move it to Monday or Tuesday. Or keep to Wednesday.

I majorly imploded with Carl. I am so distraught about finding news of Patrick Schaal's engagement to his long-term girlfriend. I discovered this in late July as his Facebook is not hidden. It really pisses me off that he ruined my life and caused all this mental anguish and paranoia back in November of 2007. I wish I never had met him. I lost my best friend Leigh Ann to the assault and I couldn't bear to stay in my coop in Washington Heights as I had bad memories of Patrick assaulting me in my bedroom. If I hadn't fought back I shudder to think what he would have done to me. If only he had broken my wrist or blackened my eye or showed more signs of physical abuse. Alas he was not arrested for assault and let go with a warning. I wonder if he had raped me if anyone would have believed it. Because that was what it was pointing to.

After the incident, I was fine or so I thought. But then I started to immediately get paranoid that other people on the street knew about the incident. I finally broke down at my therapist's appointment one Friday evening in November and before I knew it I was headed to Cornell Weill's Mental Institute in a cab with my therapist. I was admitted Friday night and couldn't get released until 11 scary days in the mental ward. I had always talked or spoken of wanting to commit suicide. But I would never do it because I'm deeply religious and I believe my soul will be condemned to hell for taking my own life. I also think I may botch up the attempt and end up mute, in a wheelchair or some other living worst case scenario, or locked up in a mental institute again. My dad understands this and never thought I'd be suicidal. It was like my grandma on my mother's side who always wished her death to be soon and swift. She led a sad life. I don't want to get into the details but she was suicidal so I guess it was a blessing in disguise for her to get pancreatic or liver or some vital organ's cancer and be dead within 3-5 months. At the young age of 69 too. My parents are both over that age and I don't know how long they have until they too die. I would never want to cause my parents any sort of anguish over taking over my life so as soon as they die, all bets are off.

I got off the medications because I wanted to get pregnant and have my own baby on my own with no help of a guy. I can't live with any guy in the same bedroom. I like having my own bed to myself and in the past I would never let the guy sleep over or if I did sleep over I would park myself on the couch and just say the person was snoring if any guy questioned my sleeping arrangements.

But then I relapsed in May of 2013. I am only so happy that it didn't happen in Feb or March where it would have impacted all my tax business. I just lost all of my bookkeeping businesses except for Adam who we go way back and Samantha who re-hired me this past March-April when taxes were due and her new accountant was faulty and caused some filing penalties.

So now I am trying to rebuild my business.

I'm living at home with my parents, have major insomnia these past few weeks and just generally unhappy with my life. Having Carl in my life is not helping much as there are serious questions about how serious he is with me. I don't want to look for Mr Perfect or Mr Right, I know no such guy exists. It's all about compromises. But maybe I've scared away Carl for good. Maybe that's what I wanted to do all along. Who knows? I don't think I want to get pregnant if there's a more than likely chance that my baby will be mentally ill. If Carl's dad was correct and mentally ill runs in the blood I don't want to bring that type of new life in the world, knowing they will be doomed to feelings of utter despair.

Tonight I truly experienced a manic experience. Highs and lows unimaginable to the non-mentally ill.

I took it out on Carl but it's in effect a statement of how deeply sad I am about my present state of being. I really wish to God that I wasn't mentally ill. Did Patrick cause my psychosis or was it always there to begin with? I just wish for his fiancé's sake that he has truly reformed himself and is not abusive or dangerous if he drinks too much. Maybe he went to rehab or something to get over that.

But now I know I must take my costly medicine every day for fear of relapse. The doctors in the mental institution at St Luke's told me I was schizophrenic to scare me into taking medications and it worked. I can't believe I'm bipolar with schizophrenic episodes. I have to take 2 80 mg tables of Geodon (for schizophrenia) and 7.5 mg of Zyprexa (for my paranoia) along with one tablet of benztropine to prevent a relapse and to keep me on the even keel. I must remain on medication for the rest of my life and who knows the rates of cancer for some of these mental illness medications. It's a trade-off perhaps. I am just happy I am no longer suicidal or depressed. I am not per se happy but I am not wanting to die until tonight when I broke down thinking I really didn't want to be manic or taking medications for the rest of my life.

I have to tell Dr Sherman about my manic episode today and my suicidal thoughts. I don't think I want to commit suicide but I was crying hysterically tonight wishing that I was just normal and not mentally ill and weak.

And I don't know if Carl was scared off about my talks of wanting to get pregnant and demanding more time with him on weekends. Not sure if I should accept the status quo and just meet him during the week. It makes me very suspicious about whether he has a gf or wife and is with them and his family (even perhaps having children). It's all possible since I never went to this workplace or his home. He could have a live-in girlfriend who works crazy hours during the week and won't notice his absence on some weeknights. Or married with children in the suburbs.

The reason I am so suspicious is because the night he came over this past Thursday he wanted the password to the wi-fi so he can check his emails on the iPhone 4s that I gave to him as a present. In the process of putting it into his new iPhone I saw a pop-up message from an Asian-sounding name that said she still wants him or still misses him, I forget one of those types of messages. It happened before any sex/making love. Carl just brushed it aside, put the phone away and we made love. But I was deeply worried about that message. He said the next day or that night when he returned to his apt that it was a sexbot and had a link to a site he dared not click. It's a believable story but the name was Asian so it made me think it wasn't a bot. I can't accuse him without more proof or perhaps hacking into his AIM but I am trying not to be too psychotic over guys.

And another suspicious thing that I could also confirm is that Carl doesn't carry any ID or wallet around with him. That it's too bulky to carry on his self. But then how does he get into his workplace. He says there's no security card swipe. I find that very hard to believe. I could always drop by his workplace and see if they indeed don't have any secure measures of entering the building but I am not the stalker suspicious type. I would then have no trust in Carl and without trust there is no relationship!

OK this post is super-long but I can't get to sleep tonight and I don't know what to do with Carl. Breaking up seems like the only thing I should do but I do care about him deeply. I also can't do friends after breaking up so it's either all dating or nothing no communication. I have to see what my other friends think about the situation but ultimately it's mine to make.

I wouldn't be too sad if it didn't work out with Carl because I never took him seriously. I guess my therapist was right in terms of building a wall around my heart so as to not be hurt, unintentionally or intentionally by Carl.

Maybe I should take a break from Carl and see if I miss him or feel better or happier without his presence in my life.

Any thoughts out there, in the Internet world. I wonder if anyone even reads my blog. Maybe my brother who I know not to mention in fears he reads it and then will be pissed I wrote about it in my blog.

And I hope Elaine's bf doesn't keep a track of this blog either. I would be so mortified if that was the case. I don't know why I publish my entries here. Maybe I will use my other blog that I never told anyone about.

Anyways it's almost 5AM so I can wake up officially at 6AM .. Only one more hour to go.

I may officially start blogging on my other blog so that no one including my ex in DC can read about my life. I hate that David guy but he never did hurt me because I was never even remotely close to being in love with him.

I know I'm in love with Carl, I am just not sure if I love him enough to keep going at the relationship on his terms.

Whoops long time since last post will try to make it memorable

OK I logged on here a few days ago but failed to log in an entry.

I am super busy with work. Which is good so I can earn some extra cash and be able to move out in December or January. Not sure if Carl will be able to spend more time with me once I move out. Not even sure if I should move out at all.

Questions, questions! Decisions, decisions!

I am debating on whether or not I should attend the Real Madrid meetup tonight and give them cash to be a member. I have to check and see if those dates are days that I can even attend the match. I think the first El Clasico hosted in Madrid I can make in October. But the March 22 is tentative and not likely as I get super busy with taxes around that time. Not sure if I should spend $25 on just one match and a tee-shirt!

Carl and I are still dating.. Nothing too serious tho which is good on my side. We see each other 2-3 times a week. This week we are aiming for 3 visits. One conjugal, one museum and one movie meetup. We shall see if that is what happens this week. I'm super busy tho so if I don't see him that much I can survive.

May

Waiting on line for Shakespeare in the Park tickets

So there goes posting every day. I will try to post an entry every day and maybe stagger when it’s posted.

So I am waiting in line for Shakepeare in the Park tickets. 

I don’t know if I should try on makeup. I bought eyeliner, mascara, lip gloss. I will check out the Queen lipstick that G recommended at space nk this Saturday. I hope the lipstick is not too expensive.

I am tired. I will take a nap at my office from 3-6pm. It’s not so busy so that’s good.

So I am still dating Carl. It’s moving pretty slowly but I see him two to three times a week. For Starbucks dates and/or movie/museum dates. I am a bit bored with Carl’s choice of dates so when I move out to Astoria I may start dating other people unless I do more fun things with Carl. I am even loathe to tell him this because he already knows my stance on that. I will see what my therapist suggests in late August. I may cut him to one session a month. 

I signed up for the Peer-to-Peer Program with NAMI and the next one starts in September. I hope they have room for me. I will learn more about it the next time I go to NAMI. Not tonight as I have Shakespeare in the Park tickets. I hope I don’t fall asleep like the time I went with Carl. I will try to sleep and take a nap at my office and lay my head to rest there.

OK so 3 hrs, 15 minutes to go. Once it reaches 10am, 2 hrs just fly by.  I want to see it with Carl so maybe I will say I didn’t go today and wait for a day he can make it. That way if I miss it, I will have already seen it. I am scheduled to do a dinner with him so I can use my groupon but that doesn’t seem likely as he hasn’t given me a date for that.

So the above was written in Central Park. I have gotten the two tickets and can't wait for the performance. I don't think I've ever seen King Lear performed live before so it'll be new. I need to stay awake so I should be napping now. 

All my work for today has been finished, waiting to hear back in regards to some client matters but I haven't heard back so I will lay my head to rest for a couple hours.

OK until tomorrow! Happy Hump Day!

Monday Day 1 of the Post Every Day of the Month

So I will post a blog entry every day this coming month to see if I can record my life happenings.

They may be brief status updates.

I made a list of guys who I have crushes on. They range from JL (Jets meetup) to CC (therapist) to DG (wood buff). There's a more extensive list for the famous guys who I have crushes on.

I wanted to expand upon looks in this post. My mom says I judge a book by its cover and it's true in some aspects of my life. Like in any tennis or team competition I always root for the better-looking guy or team. This is kind of subjective. My friend FO for example doesn't like Latinos but prefers Black guys. I am the opposite. I prefer Latino/Hispanic/White (Caucasian) over Black/Indian/Asian guys. I have never been on a single date with an Asian guy. I did date EC who was half Indian, but he looked Mediterranean.

So yeah I need to look deeper. The only reason I am tolerating Carl and his busy schedule is because I find him very attractive but not too hot. I could never date a 9 or higher guy. I think Carl ranges from an 8-8.5. I think my own looks are 7.5-8. In my prime I think I was a 8.5. But those days are over.

I need to lose weight in my tummy area. I am 106.20 lbs, up from my all-time low weight of 100. I need to stop binge-eating in the middle of the night. For the sake of my teeth alone if that warrants a change faster. I was diagnosed with 5 small cavities in my dentist appointment last week. I owe the dentist $420 for a cleaning and 5 cavities. I will get them repaired on Friday. All my money I lament goes to the IRS and my dentist. I think I may have funded my dentist a trip to Hong Kong!

OK back to work. G the handyman of the bldg is coming by in 5 minutes to hang the plaques from my wall. The walls of my cubicle don't look too sturdy so not sure if it will be successful. We shall see!

Carl Update and Other Happenings

So one of my good friends advised me to hedge my bets with Carl. Because he hasn't met any of my friends/family, I haven't met any of his friends or family.

So I confronted Carl last night via our normal mode of communications, AIM chat. He addressed them but not to my satisfaction. He will meet E&B for dinner in July or August before she moves to SF. And I will meet him at his workplace, meet his family in Long Island (just brother and sister) and perhaps see his apartment/roommate.

I'm seeing another one of my good friends Fay today for brunch. I will see what she thinks of the matter.

I also am seeing my therapist this coming Tuesday and possibly again next week before he goes on a 3 week vacation.

I am thinking of doing the Peer-to-Peer NAMI program to be peered with a fellow individual with my mental illness disease. I don't have any friends with the disease. I do go to a support group there. I am thinking of making a small contribution of $25 since I use their support services. The peer to peer will be a buddy system to make sure I don't fall back or relapse.

Anyways, I will post a Carl update as soon as I know what happens between the two of us. If I break up with Carl I will not move from my parents. If I continue dating and seeing Carl and it gets more and more serious then I will move to Astoria in October/November/December or even as late as January.

New Gym Schedule; Relationship Update

My new gym schedule:

Sunday: run 3 miles and build up to 6 miles
Monday: spin class with Gregg Cook -- 19th & Broadway 9AM
Tuesday: 8am yoga (day off cardio)
Wednesday: run 3-4 miles
Thursday: spin class with Gregg Cook -- 19th & Broadway 9AM
Friday: run 3 miles
Sat: alternate Pilates class followed by 60 minutes on elliptical with Wil Ashley's 19th & Broadway 9:45AM spin class

My goal weight is 95 lbs
I am currently 105 lbs, so 10 more lbs to lose

Diet:
No breakfast
Lunch: Tacos/pizza/Pret a Manger sandwich or soup
Dinner: Parents' cooking

Still with Carl, going strong! I am in love so much with him :) He makes me truly happy and content!!!

Busy still at work. Got (2) monthly potential bookkeeping clients!

Weekly Post: Birthdays

Surprised I'm posting again? I am making a conscious effort to post every week. So here I am on a Friday late night blogging.

I am officially Carl's girlfriend. I am so in love with him, it's not even funny.

So it's Carl's 34th birthday. He spent the evening on his own but I did get a chance to see him earlier today.

I have graduated to seeing Carl 2 times a week. Still during the week and not on weekends. That may change with the Saturday Swan Lake. It is starring Roberto Bolle, the hottest male ballerina ever. He has the body of Adonis! He is perfectly sculpted.

So I will see Carl at our usual Starbucks (on 54th and Lex) on Tuesday or Wednesday. And then on Thursday we do Moma or Friday we do Guggenheim -- hope my MS ID works.

Yes then the week after we are going to watch Jaws at MOMA... They have the greatest film schedule for afternoon movies in July and August. including Days of Heaven, Annie Hall, Raging Bull, Manhattan.

Anyways I'll get back to my nyrr obsession. The question is whether or not I should run a marathon. I think I may just set my sights on a half-marathon. I still need to break the 2 hr mark on that goal.

So I gave Carl a heart-rate monitor watch for his bday but I so want it back! LOL

Relationship Update

I'm on a quest to try to post an entry every week.

So this past week I hung out with Carl a lot because he was less busy at work. Monday and Thursday he came over.  Tuesday night we watched Shakespeare in the Park together. And Thursday night we had a groupon dinner at Pao! Friday we hung out for about 2 hrs in the afternoon at Madison Square Park, that was quite pleasant.

So the sex with Carl is a bit too much for me. He takes forever to o (c). I really do love him so I will tolerate it.

So I asked Carl the last night he came over if he loved me and he said he did. But I had to ask him to get the answer. I wish he just had said it on his own as opposed to answering a question. I think Carl is the first guy to tell me that. I am in a bona fide relationship.

The only other issue with Carl is that he has a million ex's he still keeps in touch with. It makes me nervous and a bit jealous that he is still in touch with his long-term gfs.

I think these issues can be worked through though. I think if it ever ended with Carl I would totally swear off dating and men!

MacBook Air for home

So my dad got me the best birthday present ever -- a MacBook Air! I did buy all the accessories and software so I had to invest about $750 in it. $1500 if I want it to have all the software my PC has. Since my PC has not crashed I'm in no rush to have Adobe Standard, the EZ Pay Stub Generator, W2 Mate, etc.

I will bring this iBook with me to off-site interviews. I hope I can install TaxAct as well. If not I will buy a Sony VAIO in November on Black Friday.

Anyways, now Carl thinks I should stay put and not move until December. I really do enjoy his support and we are coping with the fact that I'm living in Bayside. He's come over 3 times so far and we're trying to meet every 2 weeks which I think is doable. I really need to move closer to Manhattan for my work -- all my clients are based out of Manhattan and I only know how to get more clients in Manhattan, my Craigs List demographic.

I am going to try to post once a week at least since I don't have a therapist anymore and I want to make sure I am not acting manic or anything.

I really want to see my old therapist -- either Dr Judith B*el*d or Dr Curtis C*amp but I've gotten very frugal with my money ever since Carl has been telling me to save my money. And I know myself so I will probably visit the NAMI support group and seek their advice. It's free and they all have mental illnesses to a varying degree. I will visit both groups -- the general mental illness that meets on Wednesday nights and the bi-weekly support group on Thursdays. 

We are meeting next week to see the Gaughin exhibit at MOMA. I think I can get in with my MS ID. I was able to get in a few years ago so I hope that works. Very excited for that date! Carl is really into art as he was a design major or something like that. And I appreciate art as well. I will update after my date to fill you in all the juicy details :)

Monumental relationship news =)

So I just re-read my blog from earlier years (not all the entries) but I can see my manic ways of going out so much. There would be stretches in blog entry with me just listing my activities.

I am trying to schedule an appointment with my former therapist Curtis to see if he can help me decide on when to move out. I know if I move out in September it's not because I think I can live alone, it's to move out to be closer to my boyfriend Carl. I don't want Carl to be the reason I move out. When he didn't contact me for that 30 hr time span in either March or February I thought temporarily that we were broken up and my relief was instant that I did not have to move out. So I totally think that if I move out September 1, it's for Carl and not for myself.

I think I am definitely in love with Carl but I am not sure if I love Carl. We don't spend that much time together for me to say definitively that I love Carl. I do know he makes me happy and I am so happy I found him. He's so caring, adoring and attentive, I feel like I am missing this huge flaw or that he doesn't spend weekends with me because he has a wife and kids somewhere he hid away at his apt where I've never visited.

I need to work out these issues with Curtis. I hope he has some time available next Wed to meet.

I need to post more. I just have a paltry 3 posts for 2014.

I have an appt with a client tonight at 6pm. I had lunch with Elaine at Del Posto, not sure if it's worth the $51 I spent on it.

Still Busy with Projects... I have a BF!!!

So I am still busy with projects but I'm procrastinating, per usual. I think I will enter the sales tax on Monday...

So the big news is that Carl and I are in a bonafide relationship. He is my boyfriend and I'm his girlfriend. That's major progress. I wanted to see my therapist to tell him the good news, but my boyfriend is not fond of him. I also should prolly cut ties with him as he is a money leech. I don't think I need therapy anyways!

So other news is that Augusto got a job as a professor at Berkeley College - 20% increase in salary so he's happy. Also Josh finally got a job so I'm meeting him for dinner and I invited Augusto as well to celebrate everyone's good news. I increased by 75 clients -- to around 230-240 clients. I can't wait to hit 300 next tax season.

So Carl and I finally had sex last week, it was great. He lasts a long time, I have to use something in order to keep going with him. That's always a nice problem to have. I am going to see him for the first time after that encounter.

Anyways I should get back to work. ICK! I made enough from tax season to not have to work for the rest of the year so long as I live with my parents. But I want to move out in July or October so I am going to try to find more bookkeeping clients.

Busy tax season - New Year's Exercising Resolutions

I am not too busy this tax season. Just comfortably busy. I hope it picks up next week so I can make enough to move out.

I am trying to post more often, but it seems as though it'll be a post per month.

So my new year's resolution is to hit the gym and reach my first goal weight of 100. I am now 103.5 lbs! I think this is the lightest I've been since 2009! I want to get to 100 and then when I move out and can control the amount of food in my home I can get down to 95 lbs. I was 95 lbs when I was 24 years old and going to the gym Mon to Friday because I had a super crush on one of the personal trainers at NYSC. That was back in 2001. I have to say the fittest times of my life have been in 2001 and 2009. I think I want to have the body I had when I was 24 years old. 95 is my ideal weight. In 2009 while training for the NYC Marathon I went to an all-time low of 87 lbs, that wasn't healthy for me though. I think that was the combination of being on Geodon (ziprasidone) and exercising a lot (running over 30 miles a week).

So my ideal gym schedule that I've laid out for me is the following:

• 3 runs (of 4 miles each) - Sunday morning -- try for 5-6 miles when 4 miles becomes easier, Wednesday and Friday running
• 2-3 spin classes of 41-42 minutes (I love Gregg Cook's Terracycle classes, I also love Robert Pennino's Terrier Tri Cycling but his schedule of spin classes are not feasible for me to attend, they are at 85th and 63rd.. Maybe when I move to Astoria I will go to his when I have a flexible schedule) I'm gonna post a separate entry about spin classes when I have the time. GC's Terracycle classes are Mon and Thur at 19th Street Equinox at 9AM. I am not sure if I should do Wil Ashley's Saturday 9 or 10AM spin class.
• 1 yoga class - Tuesday mornings (8-9AM) at Soho gym by Sarra Morton 
• 1 Pilates class - Saturday mornings from 11:05-12pm by Jewel Elizabeth 

I just want to be able to fit into all my summer dresses. I have so many clothes from when I was thinner that I want to be able to fit into. It'll keep to the theme of saving money by not buying new clothes to fit into.

I have this one dress that I want to fit into. I think I may be a 00 - 24 in jeans now! The 2-26 jeans are too big for me to wear. I will not throw them away though because my weight fluctuates too much now.

I have this tendency to get up in the middle of the night to eat. I have to put fruit and veggies on the table and not eat leftover dinner portions. For instance yesterday my mom left me a slice of pizza which I devoured when I realized it was there. I also don't have any recollection of eating but there will be some remnant of food leftover in my mouth so then I will know.

Snow Day! Tax Season!

So it's the start of the tax season. Not that busy but hoping my higher fee on tax returns will lead me to work less and earn more!

I am still dating Carl and it's going very strong. He's super nice, but he has a bit of Asian fetish and his text/IM are a bit scary. I think I am in love with him, he makes me very happy so I'll see where this goes. Maybe I can have a family with a husband and 3 kids, who knows? I find him very cute and super-nice. I think I'm repeating myself. The only flaw is he's not into football/baseball, only tennis and Djokovic. Boo. LOL but he fits all my criteria: Dark hair, Catholic, runner, likes tennis, 5'11, in good shape, not too cute, not too rich. He seems too perfect for me, I'm trying to find his flaw. LOL -- to be continued.

Today's a snow day so I'm taking it easy. I need to do bookkeeping for 3 companies but I am procrastinating as usual!

May